Miraculous Beginnings

I prepared for the worst scenario tonight-that I would have to go back and reapply. I wrote my Rav-appologized for getting so emotional, and told him that I hoped to have a better interview next time around, thanked him for his support, and said I would see him on Shabbos.
He replied. I stared at my inbox for several minutes. I just couldn't click the letter-I had been crying on and off for hours and I just didn't want to see the permanent result of rejection. I opened the letter, took a deep breath, and started crying all over again-this time tears of ecstasy.

The Vaad had accepted me along with my children. It was better than I could have hoped for. That means when I'm done with this process, and trust me, I'm not in any way thinking it will go smoothly-but when I finish, even if takes several years, my children will go to the mikvah with me. I truly can't imagine a more miraculous beginning. The image of being with them in the waters of Eden, of starting this as a family is more beautiful than anything I could have dreamed. It will be like being reborn, and giving birth to my children all over again. I can't comprehend why Hashem has blessed me so much, with all of my faults and failures. I never want to disappoint Him. I want to live my life in such a pure way that He is proud of me every single day. I feel so much comfort from Him right now. The fear has been replaced with joy. He has called me by name. He has called me Nechama...