Rapunzel

My last post where I mentioned my hair covering generated a few questions/comments that I felt I should write in depth about it.

First of all, accoring to halacha, I do not have to cover my hair. Not because I'm divorced-because I'm not a Jew, and even if I were a Jew, I wasn't married to a Jew in a Jewish ceremony.

I realize the confusion that covered/uncovered hair may bring on the singles scene. Since I'm not supposed to be dating right now, it doesn't really affect me. I live in a small town-if a man asks about a new girl walking around with children, he's going to get the scoop. I know that many women get permission to uncover, but I'm under the influence of the idea that when one starts holding somewhere particular, we don't go backwards. Perhaps if I were already established in a community things would be different-if I were a born Jew.

Instead of looking at a woman's hat or scarf, why not look for a wedding ring? I don't know any women who leave the house without their band. Many married women don't cover their hair. Does that mean you're accidently hitting on married women all the time? Smoo hit right on when it comes to tallit. Depending on if youre Sephardic or Ashkenazi you wear one before marrieage or not. I can't depend on looking at Tallit in shul to know if a man is available. I have to ask. I have to talk. Although, I don't look for rings since many orthodox men don't wear them.

Responding to Moshe-hair covering is a big deal, but a lot of it depends on one's husband. It does say where you're holding, or perhaps what community one is from.

I have not started covering for my ex-husband. I have started to cover for my children. In most parts of my life I don't care what others think, but I don't want parents of potential friends to think that they are illegitimate, or that we're not holding in a place where we are keeping kosher or shabbat. This was an incredibly difficult decision for me. I don't cover at home, and I haven't yet with my family. I did try tichels for a few days, but I bought a few Israeli style knit berets and I really love them. Sometimes I tuck my hair in, but I usually leave it out-and my hair reaches halfway down my back. The position I mentioned that I'm hoping to get would be at the children's school. Being that it's Modern Orthodox, and I am the mother of two children in that school, it would be appropriate for me to cover while at work.

My hair is a huge source of my femininity. I have beautiful hair. I know that sounds conceited, but I do. I have thick wavy hair-although the colour changes! LOL It took a good reason for me to do so. Would I cover if I were on a shidduch in NY? Probably not-but when I'm with my children in my own community I feel as though I should. Maybe it's hypocritical, but that's where I'm holding for now...