I never imagined my life would get so busy that I wouldn't write for weeks. I have settled into a very secure and loving life in the past month or so. My kids have adjusted very well to having someone new around. My meeting with my Rav went so-so. He gave me permission to study more frequently, but advised me against getting more involved at this point. I felt very hesitant to do just that-worried about my conversion being seen as kosher, and of the gossip. He felt that the vaad would have an issue with my dating-since S is a rabbi and should "know better."

My close friend was married about 10 days ago. Our Rabbi gave a beautiful speech about the miracle of bashert, and grasping love when one finds it. I thought about it throughout the day and knew that I just could no longer ignore what was happening to me, to my heart, and that I felt that I was suffocating all of my happiness by not being able to share it with those around me.

When I got home from the wedding, I wrote to my rabbi. I told him that this was an unexpected turn in my life, and something that happened so innocently, but that I could no longer ignore it. I knew it would make things difficult, but I needed to be able to live my life and accept the love that was being offered to me. S had proposed to me, and I joyfully (and publicly) accepted...